Phuket

We stayed at Pineapple Guesthouse for four nights. It is run by a very friendly Englishman called Steve. We arrived at 2am, so had to wake up the night guy. Unexpected bonus that we were upgraded from dorm rooms to a twin with ensuite at no extra cost!

Slept late Saturday, had a good brunch at guesthouse, had a little wander about to get our bearings. Found the beach, lots of restaurants and bars, not much else.

Borrowed bodyboards and beach towels and went to the beach. Waves were very big and there was a huge storm cloud coming at us from the horizon. Undeterred, we went in and got thrown about by the waves. I managed to catch a couple on the board but it was a battle getting far enough in without being knocked back again.

The storm clouds came closer and closer, but we didn't get out - I was waiting for Andy to get out and take a picture of me bodyboarding, but he didn't realise and before we knew it the monsoon was upon us. Andy did his best to get a photo, but it was nigh on impossible in the dark and stormy environment. Swimming in the sea during a storm was pretty awesome though!

It got pretty dark!

Nice shot of me catching a wave here

After showering, we headed out for dinner, and after that we hit some of the local bars. We played some pool against a couple of bar girls for free drinks, but unfortunately they narrowly beat us. So we went to a different bar and played some different girls, and won. On the way to that second bar we stopped in a sports bar so I could watch the Arsenal game. After the game was over, I was teaching Andy some pool techniques when the owner of the bar came over. He was a fat, ugly, bald, bitter so and so. Making noise about how we were using his facilities without buying drinks and whatnot. We still had half full drinks, and told him so. But he insisted on carrying on being unpleasant, saying that our drinks were empty (I was drinking from a can), so we downed our drinks, paid and left. In retrospect, pouring my half full can of beer on his precious pool table to prove that it wasn't in fact empty would have been much more satisfying, but there you go.

We got up at a decent time on Sunday, and asked Steve for his advice on what to do with the day. He suggested we trek up the mountain to see Big Buddha, so that's what we did. As we strode away from the hostel in our walking shoes, armed with directions written and printed out by Steve, we had no idea what we were letting ourselves in for.

It was a tough climb. Most of the way there were paths to follow, but naturally they were all uphill, and some were very steep! We were occasionally rewarded with some spectacular views though.

Andy's stamina far outstrips my own

Eventually, we ran out of path to follow and tangled with the toughest part of the trek by far; a climb up a 50-60 degree incline through about 50 metres of dense forest. To make things harder, the monsoon the previous day had made the ground extremely muddy and slippery, which wasn't much of a problem until we got about halfway up, and strong footholds were becoming few and far between. At one stage I thought I got stuck, as there seemed to be nothing around I could use to climb on. I was staying still as possible, trying to assess my options, when suddenly I saw a huge swarm of ants pouring out of a nearby rotten tree branch, coming straight for me! This made up my mind pretty quickly to get moving, and I made a break for it, aiming for a nearby tree to hang onto. Unfortunately the ground was so slippery I couldn't get any purchase with my trainers and began slipping down the steep hill. With a lot of spiky branches and trees below me, and nothing to hold onto, I was facing the prospect of getting seriously hurt so I did the only thing I could think of; dug my fingers into the mud and dragged myself upright again. I made another break for the tree and got there, leaning up against it in relief.

Meanwhile Andy was also struggling, and had a pretty serious slip of his own, causing him to be caked in mud. Holding the piece of paper with the instructions was hindering him, so he attempted to throw it to me. It fluttered a foot in front of me and landed face down in some mud, rendering most of it unreadable. I burst out laughing at what a silly idea it was. Andy screwed it up and threw it to me to look after, and eventually managed to get up to the tree too. Now we could see the light ahead which meant we would soon be back on the path. The forest we were in was so dense the light seemed almost heavenly. We made a few more jumps up and eventually I was pulling myself up and out, before turning around to pull Andy out. We were caked in mud and sweat, out of breath and exhilarated. And we had made it.

We walked along the road, continuing up the mountain until we found a restaurant. We washed ourselves of mud from our hands, arms and legs, and had some nice refreshing drinks - coconut followed by water for me, lemon juice followed by orange juice for Andy. We drank these sitting on benches which faced out over a drop, giving a magnificent view of the town and sea below.

As we sat there drinking and resting, we saw people walking up from the direction we were facing, holding a piece of paper like ours. At this point we realised we must have gone wrong and that there was a much easier path available. But we didn't care. After we finished our drinks, the kind restaurant owner insisted we have a nap on the comfortable cushioned benches in the shade, so we took the chance to recharge our batteries for 40 minutes. It was extremely relaxing and tranquil.

After that, it was a simple matter of following the road to Big Buddha. It would've been simpler if it hadn't been a very steep and windy road, but that's mountains for you. Eventually we got there, feeling like we couldn't be bothered to look at it anymore. Like Lord of the Rings, the journey was more important than the destination. But we went up to see BB anyway, and took some snaps. It turns out Big Buddha is actually still under construction, and you can donate money towards building it, though we didn't.

Andy looking a bit muddy

Thailand really is beautiful

Donggggggg

The walk back was much easier, we just stayed on the road, getting wolf-whistled occasionally by cars full of girls, and eventually ended up back at the hostel. We showered (muddy!), ate (yummy!), and got a taxi to Bangla Road - a very vibrant nightlife area similar to Khaosan Road in Bangkok. There were countless bars and pubs and clubs and fast food stalls. We went to a place called Tiger, a huge nightclub packed to bursting with people. Great atmosphere. At around 2:30am, things were winding down so we headed back.

Woke up on Monday at 6:00am, so that we could catch our day trip ferry to Phi Phi Island. We were incredibly tired. The minibus that picked us up from the guesthouse stopped for complimentary breakfast on the way to the port, and then we were loaded onto the boat. It took a long time for the boat to leave, but fortunately there were big TVs showing the movie Avatar which made the time pass much faster.

We moored off the coast of the island just as the movie ended. Some people borrowed snorkels, but Andy and I just jumped off the boat and swam about in the sunshine. Soon it was time to get back on the boat, and we finally arrived at Phi Phi for lunch at around 1pm.

Included only for the look on that girl's face

Thankfully our boat wasn't this full

Yeah, I'm immature.

Considering we had to eat and the boat was leaving again at 2:45, this didn't give us much time, but we managed to see a bit of the island and take some pictures (Andy bought a present for a certain someone) before we went back to the boat. In retrospect, an overnight stay on the island would have been better. On the ride back I made friends with a Singaporean girl called May, and the journey passed fairly quickly. Soon enough we were back at the guesthouse.

We rested up and had dinner before heading out to sample the nightlife in Karon, Phuket one last time. As usual, we played pool and had drinks. I had my picture taken with these three, so that I could play a little game with you. One of them is a ladyboy, and one is 35 years old - who can guess which is which? Answers in comments would be great.

No prizes for saying I am the ladyboy, smartarses

After that, we decided to go home as we had a long journey to rest up and prepare for the next day.